When dreams change but passion never does

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written here. Just when I thought I had a plan to dive into my writing, my life took an unexpected but welcome turn, pushing my focus completely away for a few weeks. As tough as it has been, it’s the best possible reason not to be headfirst into River’s world or even here in the void.

Navigating how to handle the longing to write but the inability or unavailability to write has been extremely difficult. It’s like my passion was still there but my brain and body left the room entirely, so I had no choice but to ignore that passion completely until the rest of me decided to come back to this moment.

It happens a lot in life, I think. This was my first experience with it as a writer but there have been moments in my life where my calling pulled me one way and my body, mind, or even just life took me in a whole different direction. And I’m left feeling empty in some ways because after a while I either found a new passion or was called to something else.

In high school I thought I wanted to be an artist, more specifically a photographer. I had it all planned out: Move to Chicago, attend an art school after graduation, and explore the world through my camera lens. God likely laughed at my silly little plans because none of that came true.

Although my dream of moving to the big city is now being lived out vicariously in River, I now live with my little family in a small town near Lake Michigan a couple hours away from Chicago as a writer instead. If you had told me 15 years ago that I’d be writing a book from the deck of my house instead of adventuring the streets of Chicago with my camera, I would have laughed in your face. I was determined, and I definitely was NOT a writer.

There’s a funny thing about determination though, no matter how much you have, it may never be enough if you’re not meant for the path you’re determined to be on. The trick is to not let your passions fade, but to evolve with them. In some ways, I’m still an artist, but instead of images and stilled moments, it’s words and shifting stories.

Over the last few weeks though, I’ve resisted the change. Not that the passion has changed but the focus has had to. And with as much determination as I had to finish my first draft of River and to stay consistent with my writing, I’ve had to slow down and learn to shift with where my body and mind are pulling me. I look forward to sharing some updates when the timing feels right! Until then, I hope you can allow your determination to evolve and shift for the better instead of stunting your dreams completely.